Preparing Students for the Challenges of Life in College

But with that, it’s an unreflected-upon running, and a lot of ‘em what it is, what it can become is just, “I’m here to get a business degree, get an engineering degree, get a law degree, to go make that money.” So, they’re not really contemplating the philosophical underpinnings of that. They have a school system that’s telling them, “Here’s how to get hired; here’s how to get a job; here’s how to make money. We’ll set you up to do that.” And it’s just full speed towards as much as I can. So, that’s what I run into.

You’re being told success is money and a job that looks successful. Oh, okay. It’s like, “Man.” But that’s not proclaimed; it’s assumed. So as a minister, you have to say, “Here’s the assumption we’re operating off of,” and you have to name it. You have to name the spirit and then cast it out. You know? That’s what’s happening. It’s not a boxing match where it’s right in front of you.

Well, let me shift to kind of the last level of questions that I want to ask you, and that is – part of what we’re doing with these is: they’re on the net, they’re available to churches, they’re available to youth ministers, and we really have in mind here two audiences: parents on the one end, and high school kids on the other. Those who are on the edge of – who will be in Breakaway next year or four or five years from now.

So, I’ve got three audiences here. One are the church leaders. The other are the kids, and the third are the parents. I’m not sure what order to take them in, but, what advice would you give to those three groups?

Let me ask you this question; this is a better way to ask it. What do you find youth leaders are not doing that you wish they would do that would help the students you work with be in a better place when they get to Texas A&M?

I was a youth pastor right out of college, and loved it, and had a budget of like nothing. When we started the youth ministry, I started the event that was kind of the gathering event, play games, loud music, fun, the big thing. Then for me, I had a passion to just teach small groups with the Bible, and literally we just studied the person of Jesus.

I’ll never forget, man, sitting in there. There was this student looked at me and he said, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” I said, “Doing what?” He was like, “Reading the Bible.” I’m like, “What else do you do in a Bible study?” He was like, “I don’t know; I’ve just never really done this.” These students were blown away by this small group bible study that was just really teaching them the Bible.

Then, I worked really hard to get leaders that I told them, “You’re not chaperones. You’re here to love these kids and walk with them through high school and teach them the truth.” Our “shock and awe,” good times, events, stayed about this level, and our “We love you, ask about your day, and then really teach you a book of the Bible,” we just kept outgrowing venues.” We realized they can get entertained better by everything else, but what they can’t get is someone to honestly care about ‘em.

So, I would tell youth leaders: spend your money, your budget, your time hiring hard. I mean, make it hard to be a youth leader. Pick the best people, and get people that really love these kids. Then, make them people that don’t just love kids, but love the truth of the Gospel, and will teach the Bible to these kids. So, that’s what I would tell youth leaders, is the big event is of value, but grounding the kid in a loving environment where the truth flows freely – that’s what they need, man. So, that’s what I would encourage a youth pastor to do.

I’m looking at those kids, and I remember going, “Okay, I’m going to see those kids, and what’s different about them?” All of them had parents in their life who spoke to them like they were adults. By that I mean they never belittled them. They didn’t belittle their ideas. They weren’t dismissive of them. They would engage things that they knew students valued and talk about them seriously with them, you know? So, that’s what I would encourage ministers to do – is the things that matter to students, talk about them like they matter, and then help them think through them well.

That can be anything from discussing pop culture things like movies or whatever, and it can be, when you think of illustrations, talk about the school context and how that would work out in a school culture. But I wouldn’t belittle like, you know, peer pressure with your friends. No, “Peer pressure was huge when we were in high school.” So, speak about it seriously. I would just say that respect goes a long way for them of you building credibility with them.

Then I started getting letters periodically from parents – if their kid wasn’t accepted as a volunteer, I would get a letter from their parents. I’m like, “Your kid’s in college, your kid’s deep into college. I don’t know why I’m getting a letter from you.” This is – come on, man.

So, I would encourage them to think with their students, let their young people articulate what’s going on in life, think with them, help them process information and come up with decisions, ‘cuz that’s what’s going to happen in college.

But when the movie develops, it’s -they have to move into society, into the world that he fears the most, with all the social pressures. What you find is, she’s got her Ninja skills and can shoot a gun, but she has no preparation of how to handle society and make decisions. So he’s helped her in no way reason out what people are saying, the philosophy behind it.

I was thinking about it this morning, just praying over that and the parent with the kids that’s demonized, that’s throwing itself into fire and whatever. You know, his dad is, “It’s terror, oh my gosh, my son is being thrown into the fire,” and whatever, and so he comes to Jesus and goes, “If you can, do something,” and Jesus answers, “If I can? Really?” But this parent is so scared of these forces being acted on his kid; Jesus is maybe able to do something. You know, he’s completely misunderstood the power he’s dealing with.

Then the other thing I would say maybe to ministers, pastors, is to not underestimate the devastation of fatherlessness. I think it is – divorce has become common, or normal. So we’ve gone, “Well, it’s normal,” but its normalcy hasn’t made it any less devastating to a child’s confidence.

You want people that are going to speak to you the truth of God, build you up. That’s where you’re going to find strength. That would be my encouragement.

Now, the last question is a standard journalistic question that I get asked all the time when I’m interviewed. Is there anything that we haven’t said or that we haven’t covered that we should have or you’d like to bring into the mix here?

It’s such an amazing, strange, wonderful time to intersect with them, and we’re grateful to do it. So I would tell people, “Pray for the college campus.” Sometimes it can feel really separated from the rest of the world. But God’s at work; God’s doing amazing things, and this is a fun time to intersect with a human life.

You know, Jesus said it, when “They will believe the Father sent me.” You know, “Let them be one, as we’re one so that they’ll know that the Father sent me.” The Gospel’s legitimized in the community when people see us get along. So for me as a para-church leader, I do think there should be missionaries on the campus, somebody who’s coming in, because the campus has its own culture. But, I think we fail as para-churches if we’re not connecting them back to churches because that’s where they’ll go the rest of their lives.

I don’t know any para-church that would say, “Eh, we don’t value the local church,” but I think pragmatically sometimes you see them not working hard to celebrate and connect students with the local church.